May, Hug Me

“Don’t come back. You don’t miss home, right?”
“Ya, nope. I know it would be good if I stayed here.”
“Still don’t hate us. I hope you know that either.”
“I know. Don’t worried about us too.”

I never guess that neither hate nor worried each other makes us being stranger.

I went to somewhere. Found chicken soup. At least, that was warm enough for me, for my heart. Dinning room was like mountain, cold. I sat and looked all of thing in front of me. I was waiting the door being opened. But just heard chink of time. As always I went to home and slept. Hope there was no tomorrow. But what will happen in the next day? Because I woke up in the morning, I had to live.

Hearing broken plate or glass or vase or mirror was not awkward moments. I still continued played dolls or read some magazines. I did my homework too or watched TV with highest sound. And sometimes I was so calm at noisy place. Because I woke up in the next morning, I had to live.

The one said that blue is the best, and the other said that red is better than blue. Why they made some easy thing to be hardest part? I ever told that not to have favorite color, that not to limit themselves to the one thing until did not get to see the beauty of another color. Why they made the most they used to like just being cause of separation? Anyway, because I woke up in the next morning, I had to live.

Always

I always worried about him.

I remembered the way I held his hand back then. When he was crying, when they were going to somewhere else, I was the one who wiped his tears.

“Don’t date with other girl. I will be jealous. You are still mine, so please don’t give any your attention to other girl. I am still the best for you.”

I am still worried about his food. Has he eaten yet this night? I hope he isn’t eating instant food while watching movie. I feel so sorry because did not try to cooked more food to him. I know he will always eat what I have cooked to him.

“Thank you about the book which you give me last year. I really know how easily you find it, ya?”

Are you not arrant asking for unreasonable thing? Still I gave it to you. And I will try give something what you want. I promise. Because I always remember what she said, “Just share what you eat, what you buy, what you watch , with your brother.”

“Thank you for hold my hands and said that I would be okay, that everything would be okay, that they were just made me worried to not important things.”

He is younger than me but more mature. He is taller than me but I always worried to him. I wouldn’t say that x-ray was so horrible if I knew that someday you will take it too. I said that x-ray is horrible just to showed you that I am cool enough through way this case. All will be okay, If they said to get x-ray, just do then. I am here, Dik.