Apapun jika ini tulus, kita akan bertemu lagi di masa depan

Minggu, 29 November 2015

Apologizing

Dear Witri,
How are you today? I hope you are kind of fine.
Do you realize that today is the last day of November?
Thank you for being role model as a good friend. I know you little, not well like other best friend said to others. Thank you for hearing the tons of unimportant my tweet. Thank you for reminding me to be happy and think that I am surrounded and blessed by kind people. Right back at you, girl. Actually I have plenty words to say, but for your information, right now is 1.54 am and I have not slept yet, not at all. Is it okay that I write till here? Ah, I want to tell you that you are really really really fascinating.
The fact, I want to apologize. I am so sorry for breaking our November challenge. Because of that, I decided apologizing theme for today, so I can write this. Writing every day is difficult enough, especially have many things to do. I will complete our themes with all my effort. But when I afford to fulfill the story but still not finish yet, from my deepest heart, I am so sorry.
And always there is another great day.

With Love,
Your-kinda-cute-friend-af

Jumat, 13 November 2015

Moment

Can you stop being worried and just be my bride?

11th Novemberchallenge

Over

Thanks for choosing to stop your three-years-stupid-one-side-love.

10th Novemberchallenge

Bad Luck

Even doctor said still there were eighty percent of opportunities to life, but he didn’t know that I was the part of twenty percent.

9th Novemberchallenge

Long Trip

Let’s run away.
To the place that anyone doesn’t know us.

8th Novemberchallenge

Rain

What I know, rain has cold water.
I ever drank it once while I was 7 years old.
And there’s rain called tears coming out from our eyes.
That created for reason, to warm sadness when I was 17 years old.


7th Novemberchallenge

Shining Star

I am not diamond, jewel, or ruby, too.
Nobody knows me
I am still no one

I solely am the dark
People only know the stars
They don’t reach me
Because I don’t shine

I stand appropriately on your back
You don’t realize my existence
Even people don’t consider
That stars only shine because of dark

6 th Novemberchallenge

Confirmed

It’s really simple.
How the way you look at me, I like it.
And when you asked me, “Are you okay?”
It reduced my pain.

It’s still the same.
If I wrote your name in my writing.
It was confirmed you ruined my mind and heart.

Novemberchallenge; grateful

Kamis, 05 November 2015

Brave; happiness

The way you chose to face it than skip the hard part, It's really good actually.
Just give roses to your nose and have nice sleep.
Because we are still the star for each other.

Rabu, 04 November 2015

Tears

If you were really really sad, just cry. Don't pretending being okay.

With love,
Yourself.

Selasa, 03 November 2015

Tali

Satu langkah mundur
Kuterjengkang uzur
Satu langkah maju
Kuterperosok lalu
Satu langkah kanan
Tak  berujung kian
Satu langkah kiri
Kan terjungkir mati
Pada tali kumenari
Seutas lintas pada ia tak berhati
Untuk bertahan sesekali
Bahwa mungkin ia kembali
Pada tali kubertekuk
Kesamaan rasa di ujung tanduk
Lilin rindu padam tanpa jenguk
Sedang jilat marah bergemuruh tanpa kantuk

Aku masih berpegang pada tali
Bahwa mungkin ia akan kembali
Bahwa mungkin nanti ia kan kembali
Atau mungkin nantinya lagi..
Ia akan kembali

Aku berpegang pada tali
Sepenggal harapan tak terperi

Ngw, 03.11.2015

Senin, 02 November 2015

She Cried

She cried
For the first time, she knew there was salty water.
It was fall out from eyes and cold on cheeks.
It looked like dangerous river.

She cried
She was angry
Throw all the memorize to the trash
Once again, she cried with silent

She cried
Until didn’t know the reason of
She still cried
Even other’s hand caress her back

She cried
Properly, without stop
She cried
The one way healing of her one-side-feeling


Ngw, 02.11.2015

Minggu, 01 November 2015

Sunflower

She stayed
She was standing up in front of closed store
Mumbling in silent
And praying he will come back for once
She stayed little bit more
And she was waiting
And she was waiting
And she was waiting
And she was staying while the city light was turning off and waiting with her
She stayed with phone in right hand and sunflower in left hand
He ever said that it’s his favorite of flower; replacing sun in the night
She was staying, patiently, confidently, consciously
Until the sun shined and said, “It’s time to go home.”
Then, she left

And only there is last sunflower on the street.

Ngw, 01.11.2015

Jumat, 12 Juni 2015

Run Away

There are people who like to dance
Make sure their feet and bodies are moved away
There are people who like to mingle some new places
Take deep breath to vanish for worn inside.

What are you waiting for?
Just stay in one place
With sparkling eyes stare one door
Even it is never opened
----- I am waiting someone -----

What are you listening to?
Wind even reluctant to whisper
And twigs do not want to sulk
----- I am waiting someone -----

What are you thinking of?
Forehead wrinkles cannot lie
About the contents of the endlessly rotating head
--- I am waiting someone who never comes ---

Run away with me
Look! My hands are always outstretched

Stand up! Reach and hold my hand
Run away with me; anytime you want

 
Inspired by someone who heartily was protecting from the sun



Mlg. 12.06.2015

Rabu, 13 Mei 2015

May, Hug Me

“Don’t come back. You don’t miss home, right?”
“Ya, nope. I know it would be good if I stayed here.”
“Still don’t hate us. I hope you know that either.”
“I know. Don’t worried about us too.”
I never guess that neither hate nor worried each other makes us being stranger.

I went to somewhere. Found chicken soup. At least, that was warm enough for me, for my heart. Dinning room was like mountain, cold. I sat and looked all of thing in front of me. I was waiting the door being opened. But just heard chink of time. As always I went to home and slept. Hope there was no tomorrow. But what will happen in the next day? Because I woke up in the morning, I had to live.
Hearing broken plate or glass or vase or mirror was not awkward moments. I still continued played dolls or read some magazines. I did my homework too or watched TV with highest sound. And sometimes I was so calm at noisy place. Because I woke up in the next morning, I had to live.
The one said that blue is the best, and the other said that red is better than blue. Why they made some easy thing to be hardest part? I ever told that not to have favorite color, that not to limit themselves to the one thing until did not get to see the beauty of another color. Why they made the most they used to like just being cause of separation? Anyway, because I woke up in the next morning, I had to live.

Senin, 11 Mei 2015

Always

I always worried about him.
I remembered the way I held his hand back then. When he was crying, when they were going to somewhere else, I was the one who wiped his tears.
“Don’t date with other girl. I will be jealous. You are still mine, so please don’t give any your attention to other girl. I am still the best for you.”
I am still worried about his food. Has he eaten yet this night? I hope he isn’t eating instant food while watching movie. I feel so sorry because did not try to cooked more food to him. I know he will always eat what I have cooked to him.
“Thank you about the book which you give me last year. I really know how easily you find it, ya?”
Are you not arrant asking for unreasonable thing? Still I gave it to you. And I will try give something what you want. I promise. Because I always remember what she said, “Just share what you eat, what you buy, what you watch , with your brother.”
“Thank you for hold my hands and said that I would be okay, that everything would be okay, that they were just made me worried to not important things.”

He is younger than me but more mature. He is taller than me but I always worried to him. I wouldn’t say that x-ray was so horrible if I knew that someday you will take it too. I said that x-ray is horrible just to showed you that I am cool enough through way this case. All will be okay, If they said to get x-ray, just do then. I am here, Dik.

Kamis, 23 April 2015

Love Letter

Dear, My Future Man

This is love letter.

Do you suddenly like mangosteen, or papaya, or salak, or duku? I am not smart enough to use knife. So I will peel it with my hands or we can eat those together with spoon.

Hi! What are you doing? Reading this letter?

May be you were my friend at elementary school, or junior high school, or senior high school, or working office, or you are my friend at college, or someone I don’t know yet. Now, I am still 20 years old, stubborn, childish, and cute. Ha! Would you mind waiting me eight years later or ten years later? I will become more charming. Let’s meet with a normal way, like others who is modestly falling in love each other. You have to like me first, okay?

If I were an animal, I would be a fox. I am sly, but would you mind considering that as smart enough? Sometimes I am careless; broke plate and glass, slipped, or sprained. Are those nothing for you?

It’s okay if you could pass away delicious pork, as compensation, I will cook more delicious-healthy food. What would you like to have breakfast? Bread? Salad? Soup? Then combine with egg and drink a glass of juice and milk. I prefer vanilla or strawberry milk to chocolate milk. It will be good either you prefer the same with me or prefer chocolate. We can share or complementary. Or do you prefer a cup of coffee? I’ll make it by myself.

I can eat everything, except chocolate sprinkles, but I have big portion. I like cute dress, and bag, and shoes, jewelry too, especially diamond. So you have to make a lot of money. No, not for me, but to us, to our children. Actually I wanna write this letter when I have a job, so I could say, “I can buy those by my own money. Still, if you wanna give me gifts for our anniversary or my birthday, I will accept it”. I will go to work within hours less than yours. Thus, when you go home I can still welcome you. In holiday, let’s have traveling around the world. To do that we need money.

I have bad emotions. I can laugh like hell then sad like tomorrow is end of the world. I was crying while reading a book or watching my Korean drama, but sometimes if I knew the sad part of real life, I could not cry. Am I a strange person? Are you really okay about that? It’s relief because I did not feel pain when menstruated. You don’t have to be occupied. I am afraid of being alone while waking up. I ever cried once in my boarding house because there is no one. I am afraid too, separating in crowded place. Really crowded place. I already realized about that yesterday. Thus, hold my hand.

Are you active talker or passive talker? All is well, as long you are good listener. I usually tell what I read and what I watch. Which do you like the most? Book? Movie? Game? Painting? Nature? Human? Tell me. I always curious about your personality, and what you like and, what you dream of, all about you. In the evening of weekend, once a while, let’s do something together which we used to like the most. I will be reading a book while lying down on your thigh.

Let’s have children; the one whose face is like me and the others is like you, one library, two parks, three birds, four clown fish, and five mango trees. We can play at park and plant some beautiful flowers. Let’s life healthily and full of happiness.


But, should we get married?

Forgetting, 23.04.2015

Minggu, 12 April 2015

April

Sometimes I like the sky is cloudy. It makes me calm down and relaxed.
Sometimes I don't like rain since there is no person will go out and prefer to sleep in their own home.
I'm missing the sounds of footprint.
Sometimes when I will sleep, I like the noisy voice.
It's okay either sounds of TV or radio or conversation.
I like as I know there is a person who still awake beside me.
I am afraid of being alone.
Dindn't know what have to do or didn't know the person whom have to reached
But sometimes, I don't want to confess it.

The deepest, 13.04.2015

Jumat, 27 Maret 2015

Mirror

Loving you is like mirror
Stare at you is same with stare at me myself
Even though we hold our hands each other
I have not realized yet that there is a wall of separation between us
That is a clear glass as flimsy as our feelings

Either “Are you okay?” or “Are you a beggar?”, all is well
Because of too often to hear that
I wish, I could close my heart for the pain like I can close my eyes which I don’t want to see about
My heart is strong enough to face your insensitivity
No, I mean, you are pretending being blind

Sometimes I really try my best to forget you
But the time does not let me to do that
I give up, I come back to you again
Congratulation! You win.

Sometimes I encourage to cross the clear glass of mirror
Try to reach you or strangle your neck
It’s hurt too
Until the time, I don’t have to give an effort to not remember you is the sad part either

It’s okay if you were not there since you are in front of my face
As always in the mirror
I just have to crumble the mirror and make my hand gets little bleeding
I heartily am okay, but you are just pieces of the mirror

Your nose, your eyes, and your forehead which I liked are can’t be recognized
I put my left hand up to touch the mirror
“Who are you?”
While breeze is blowing, the reflection whispered,
“Sadness.”


Mlg, 27.03.15

Jumat, 20 Maret 2015

Usai

Adalah lembar-lembar kosong yang tak sudi ia isi. Mengenai kepingan rasa tercecer dalam dimensi waktu. Bahwasanya sekat rindu serupa beton mengakar nadi. Mendalam, tak lagi diluruh.

Adalah hembusan lega menyeruak dalam sesaknya napas terjepit kenangan. Berharap tanpa sayap, pun terbang ia...

Ia bukan ia yang kukira hangat. Ia masih saja ia yang bersekat. Ia tak lagi ia, sebab kata-kata bercerita senyap. Ia hanya bunyi tanpa derap. Ia, tanpa koma, berjalan bertabrakan. Ia tanpa tanya, enggan memberi jawab.
.
.
.
.
Ia telah usai. Serupa titik, ia menyelesaikan kebutaan rasa.

Mlg, 18.03.15

Minggu, 08 Februari 2015

Monolog

Mengapa masih menyukainya? Dia menjengkelkan.
Benar, dia menjengkelkan. Aku menyukainya karena dia begitu menjengkelkan.
------
Dia juga tidak terlalu peduli.
Kau tahu dia benar. Aku menyukainya karena dia tidak terlalu peduli.
------
Dia sedikit pengecut.
Terlalu pengecut. Aku menyukainya karena dia sepengecut itu.
------
Mengapa kau selalu seperti ini?
Untuk membuatmu diam.
Kau takut aku mencaci kekasihmu?
Bukan, kau sedang mencaci seleraku, dan juga dia bukan sesiapaku.
------
Apa kau masih menyukainya?
Selalu kubanggakan di depan semua orang; aku benar-benar menyukainya. Aku.. Aku masih malu akan perasaan itu. Perempuan akan datang kepada ia yang sering membuatnya menangis. Bacakan aku sebuah cerita dan aku akan menganggapmu telah seratus kali membuatku tertawa dan mari kita jangan bertemu lagi untuk ke depannya.
------
Ada seorang Putri yang tertidur karena mantra penyihir. Sihir itu hanya bisa dipatahkan dengan ciuman dari Pangeran. Seorang Pangeran berkelana menyusuri hutan dan melawan para kurcaci. Hingga pada suatu masa pangeran tersebut berhasil menemukan Sang Putri. Sayangnya bukan Sang Putri yang tertidur, melainkan Putri dari negeri seberang.
------

Kau membuatku menangis bahkan sampai akhir.

Kamis, 29 Januari 2015

Spring

Dear, Heart

Spring is beautiful, isn't it?
With all the colors of flowers make you leave that place unwillingly.
Why is spring so awesome?
“Spring has passed autumn and winter. They fall their leaves, maybe until broke or torn. There is no leaf, just some branch.Then they pass winter. All of the branch are covered by snow. The coldest part of the year. Being plant is the equivalent of being you. Maybe now your heart is being broken and then you feel that you are being crazy because you are passing winter. But the most important thing is you will sprout to be nicest like spring.”

With logic,
Mind


Ngw, 30.01.2015

Selasa, 13 Januari 2015

Pintu

Jika jantung adalah serupa rumah, maka ia  satu-satunya tujuan untukku pulang.


Detik ini aku mengetuk pintumu. Namun tidak ada jawaban. Barang kali engkau sibuk. Akan kucoba lagi lain waktu.

Masih dalam menit yang sama, masih dengan tangan yang sama, aku mengetuknya lagi. Keras-keras. Tetap tertutup.Apa aku terlalu berisik hingga membuatmu enggan bergerak? Tak apa, akan kucoba lagi lebih lembut.

Detik berikutnya, sesuai janjiku, kuketuk lagi lebih lembut dengan irama lebih teratur. Apa rumahmu benar-benar luas hingga ketukanku tidak bisa terdengar?

Seperti ‘Filosofi Kopi’, semenjak pertemuan kita, kalikan dengan tiga puluh lalu kalikan dengan dua puluh empat lalu kalikan dengan enam puluh lalu kalikan lagi dengan enam puluh maka akan kau peroleh 52,576,000 sekon. Selama itu lah aku mengetuk pintumu, sebanyak angka itu darah keluar dari ruas jariku dan membiru pada musim dingin.

Karena kupikir mungkin aku telah melaju pada lima per delapan anak tangga menuju rumahmu, begitu mendebarkan, jadi kurasa aku tidak bisa berhenti.

Detik ini kuketuk lagi, kupanggil-panggil namamu, terasa aneh, tanganku terlepas begitu saja. Karena berdiri lama di depan pintu tertutupmu, aku mengabaikan tamu yang mengetuk pintuku. Aku pulang.


Mlg, 13.01.2015

Jumat, 09 Januari 2015

About Like

For you,
Only one whom I said ‘I like you’

I like word the most
I like how this word and that word become a phrase
I like how a phrase and subject or verb become a clause
I like how a clause and object and adverb become a sentence
I like how some sentences become a paragraph
I like how some paragraphs become a story
And I like how you tell your stories to me
About which you like the most
About some food which to be your favorite
About movies which you have seen
About books which you have read
About place which to be your destination or you have visited
About sea of which clean water or beautiful color or big wave or beautiful sunset
About mountain of which cold air or thick cloud or beautiful sunrise
About things which you have done today or yesterday or last week
About planning which you will do tomorrow or next week or next year
And I like if only my face was captured in your eyes when you told about all of your stories


Mlg, 9.01.2015

Kamis, 08 Januari 2015

Pengukir Sejarah

Teruntuk engkau,
Pemilik tahi lalat di bawah mata kanan

Mengenai topeng wajah terpasang di antara kedua paha
Melayu sebagaimana bunga matahari pulang ke peraduannya
Hanya jika kedua mata ini terletak di belakang kepala
Mengenai ia, pengukir sejarah, telah lelah muka

Pada kuas, ia rekatkan kanvas dengan berbagai gradasi warna
Belum berarti, kuas tak berlapang menempa lebar kanvas
Masih serupa kapur pada selembar kertas putih di ruang kerja
Sebab ia, pengukir sejarah, masih mencari makna

Bahwa pagi menjelang hingga malam menghadang raya
Bersama batu ia berkarya, bersama kekayuan ia percaya
Pada batu ia memahat, dengan kayu dorongan terbuat tercipta
Hanya peroleh asa pada ia, pengukir sejarah, penanti batu berupa

Ia..
Menginjak langit menatap bumi
Ia..
Pengukir sejarah pada hati tak berhati


Mlg, 8.01.2015

I write this down. Sadness will yawn as fast as you will finish this word.